Just in case you didn’t know, the Economy isn’t going to last much longer. It’s been nice to have it around for so long, but sooner or later the Economy is going to collapse. And according to these subtle signs, the end will definitely be sooner. Much sooner. Once the Economy is gone, there is no coming back. So be warned. Here are 8 Signs the Economy is On the Brink of Collapse.
Businesses are failing everywhere
This should be the most obvious indicator that things are headed in the wrong direction. A recent study has shown that 9 out of 10 businesses fail within their first year. And 9 out of 10 of the businesses that made it that far will close within 5 years. It’s clear that the economy is in complete shambles with numbers like that. And it’s true. I can testify that my nephews lemonade stand went under in a single afternoon. It’s a shame to see an abandoned storefront just hours after it opened.
Worse and worse prizes in cereal boxes
One day you go into the kitchen to open a box of Gummy-O’s as you peruse the latests financial rag. When out of the box comes your chunks of sugar and a piece of paper. It seems this piece of paper is an official statement stating that this piece of paper is your prize. Not only that, but it gives no instructions on how to play with it. Do you fold it? Wad it up? Tear it? There’s no way of knowing! All it says is some nonsense about ‘mailing’ it in for the ‘Grand Prize’. What does that even mean? Admittedly prizes in cereal boxes have gotten worse in general over the years. According to Granddad there was once a time when you could get a carburetor for a 389 cubic inch engine from GM (General Mills). But now you’d be lucky to find a strip of paper in a box of Mobius Loops ™. All because the economy is on the brink of collapse. These once high and mighty cereal companies are quickly moving toward putting food product alone into their packaging, something unthinkable for most of human history. The rationing of cereal box prizes should be a blaring alarm sounding a warning that even the most obtuse individual can recognize. So be on the lookout.
Money is literally disappearing
Take a look in your wallet or purse and look at your dollar bills, if you can afford to own such a luxury. Now look at the dates on them. Did you notice? Not a single one of them was printed before 1997! And guess what? This nation has existed, with money, since 1776! With all of their lies, the government could possibly have been around even longer. So, where’d all the money go? I’ll tell you. The government is taking all the taxes they bought from you and is destroying it! I’ve seen it on TV. Sure, they say that they’re printing billions of dollars every day. If they were printing so much money then why is it worth less and less? Not only that but when those rich fat cats aren’t shredding money they’re lighting their cigars with $100 dollar bills while we’re stuck lighting our cigarettes with nickels and dimes!
My neighbor won’t shut up about it
Everyday when I go out to get my mail, my neighbor Sam is out doing something to his lawn. And no matter how much I try to avoid eye contact with him, he always finds a way to reel me into a conversation about what he saw on the TV last night and how the world is falling apart, but especially how the economy is falling apart. Now, I’m not one to look into these things too deeply, but when my neighbor Sam starts to talk about it, I just can’t keep my eyes open. What I think he was getting at was that the economy is on the brink of collapse and that I should write an article on it. I do have my doubts seeing that Sam seems to have both a surplus of time to grow vegetables in his front yard and a surplus of can goods and ammunition in his bunker. So you can’t think things are that bad, now can you, Sam?
President Trump’s refusal to comment
This isn’t just a sign, it’s a huge blinking red light waving a red flag pointing to a sign that says “DANGER! Red Flag Up Ahead”. I have Emailed the President directly at the White House (PresidentD.J.Trump@whithouse.com) and have yet to get any kind of response. This was THREE days ago. I sadly have no other explanation for the deafening silence than what I infer from the exchange. The President cannot even afford to pay his own internet bill, and that guy is supposed to be rich. NOT a good sign indeed.
The inevitable success of the Grinch in stealing Christmas
I’ve been watching this thing for years and one of these days he’s going to get away with it. Christmas is something we can’t afford to lose. It brings in so much cold hard cash that to do away with it would mean our inability to even pay for Christmas Choirs to sing on Christmas morning. What would we do then? If the Grinch did actually steal Christmas, no one would have their toys, music, or roast beast. Not only stealing all the stuff, but all joy and happiness. It would be a complete collapse of not only our economy, but a collapse of our society and all that is good. The idea scares me so much, I have never been able to bring myself to watch the end of the show. I assume the Grinch is caught and run out of town on a rail. That would be the only logical ending.
More products are being manufactured domestically
For years the U.S. of A. has been rich. So rich that we could afford to pay other countries to not only make our phone calls, but manufacture our goods, too. China, in particular, was the real go to country. They would use top quality materials like lead paint and asbestos. But now we can’t afford to hire China. We have to put the good folks of America to work instead of letting them theorize about the economy. Let’s hope you’re still one of the few who doesn’t have to tell your children “Sorry, but it looks like you have to get a job, now.”
I can’t find my wallet
Those Bradly boys are up to no good, again. It’s a shame when people have to resort to theft to pay for things because the economy is in such bad shape. They must have been the ones to steal my wallet because it’s not where I put it. Which was on the coffee table. I put it there last night. I need to find it because it had all my money in it as well as my credit cards. Not only that but my only I.D.s (my driver’s license and my Dave and Buster’s season pass) were in it along with my Social Security card. So there is no driving down to the office to get a replacement because I can’t afford another ticket because of the ECONOMY.
The Economy is circling the drain and you we are all going with it. The signs are there. And more. But we can only tell you 8 of them. Whether you heed these 8 signs or not is up to you. And what you do from here is also up to you. But a word of advice, take lots of pictures to remember this time when the Economy was still around. It will be something to do with all the extra time you’ll have from not looking at the stock exchange.
- Nathanial Watson