When a girl is around it’s best to not say anything that isn’t your feelings. But if you are going to say something not feeling related then make sure it’s not one of these things. Here are 13 Things Guys Should Never Say to a Girl.
“Where Did Your Mom Go?”
If you really want to confuse a girl then go ahead and blurt this faux pas right out of your mouth. Otherwise you might want to keep your curiosity to yourself.
“Let’s See What’s On YouTube…”
Unless you are watching her channel, DON’T! You will not find anything worth watching.
“I Don’t Think This Show Was Actually Recorded in Front of a Live Studio Audience.”
There are two things girls don’t like. Skepticism, and ruining an illusion. Pointing things out, no matter how true they are, is a no-no.
“Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?”
Don’t say it. Don’t even have a reason to say it.
“My Social Security Number Is…”
Never give your social security number to any girl no matter what. They are not to be trusted. Find a man and give it to him. Much safer.
“I’ll Kill You!”
This might come off as threatening. And unless you want to spend a night in jail and/or spend the next month explaining yourself to a myriad of cops and lawyers, I would suggest not using such direct language with the fairer sex.
“Orange You Glad I Didn’t Say Banana?”
Girls really like the flavor of bananas. Don’t tease any female with the prospect of bananas and not have a plantain to follow up with.
“I Like Red.” (When Referring to Popsicle Flavors.)
First of all red is not a flavor and you should know that. Second, and possibly more important, you don’t want to let any girl know that you are into the most feminine of all Popsicle flavors. This makes you come off as weak and useless. Stick to grape or blue. Or if you’re feeling a little adventurous Orange. But never red. Come on dude. You’re better than that.
“Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers…”
We know it’s impressive but you have to understand if you start down that path and aren’t able to finish it without getting your tongue in a proverbial knot, then you have just undone all the hard work of trying to impress. And what’s the use of trying if you can’t do it perfectly? Don’t be a loser.
“The Sum of the Square Roots of Any Two Sides of an Isosceles Triangle is Equal to the Square Root of the Remaining Side.”
This famous quote from the Wizard of Oz is so close to an actual equation discovered just years later. It might be fun and easy to say, but you shouldn’t be spreading misinformation to anybody, much less girls. She won’t understand the reference.
“I Spy With My Little Eye…”
It doesn’t get more creepy than to be told that you are being spied upon. Opt to say “I hear with my little ear…” instead. Girls are much more aurally inclined. They like to talk about things that they’ve heard and be told things that others have overheard.
“Girls Are Much More Aurally Inclined.”
This is tantamount to saying girls are blabbermouths. They are, but it’s rude to interrupt them to tell them this.
“I Think You Should See a Doctor.”
If you say this then you just blew any chance of a future with any girl within ear shot. This phrase is an immediate tell that you are not a doctor, and thus not rich, and thus not worth her time. Plus girls don’t like being told what to do.
Remember these things and don’t say them, or any of the words contained in them, and you’ll be a hit with the ladies.
- Mark Hernandez